


Be Okay

by SourwolfSeblaine



Category: Glee
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Depression, M/M, Post-Break Up, klaine break up, somewhat happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-06
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:00:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26861044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SourwolfSeblaine/pseuds/SourwolfSeblaine
Summary: When Blaine gets depressed after his break up with Kurt, Sam goes to the Warblers for help. They helped Blaine before, in the worst year of Blaine's life, surely they can help him again?--Or: Sebastian goes to see Blaine and convinces him to get help.
Relationships: Blaine Anderson & Sebastian Smythe, Blaine Anderson/Sebastian Smythe
Comments: 11
Kudos: 45





	Be Okay

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sure if I should've added it to the Blaine/Sebastian tag because there is no romance in this fic (though I'm planning on making a part 2 where they do get together) it just doesn't feel right - or realistic, to write about them getting together while Blaine is depressed and just got out of a breakup, so if you're here for some romance, I'm sorry.
> 
> Warning: This does include depression. I know that a lot of people experience depression differently, when I compare my experiences with one of my friends, it can sometimes be totally different. But I tried my best to make it as realistic as possible. so there is a warning for the constant mention of it, but I guess you already understood that from the tags. But better an extra warning that no warning at all.
> 
> Not edited, so sorry for any mistakes!

It’s dark in Blaine’s room, the curtains are closed, keeping the sun out. Not even one bit of sunshine is able to reach his room.

There’s also loud music playing, which would annoy his parents - if they ever would be home enough to notice it. Or the fact that he’s been locked in his room for so long now, only getting out for bathroom breaks or when his body started protesting for some food. He even stopped going to school, for the first time since he was assaulted, normally Blaine would even go to school if he was sick.

His brother sometimes joked that even if Blaine would be in a coma, he’d be at school.

Blaine tries to pay attention to the music that’s playing from his speaker, one of his favorite songs is playing, but he doesn’t feel anything. Not even sad.

And he’s too tired to grab his phone to put on a different song. But what song would he put on? Nothing makes him feel anything. He lost his interest in music. He lost interest in everything.

He tried reading. Sometimes when he felt anxious, Blaine was able to escape his worries and dive into a fantasy novel. Now nothing helped him forget what he did. What happened.

He had cheated on Kurt. The love of his life.

It had been in impulse decision. Kurt had been distant, he canceled video dates to hang out with his new friends, he didn’t pick up his phone, and when he did, it was only for five minutes, where he would talk about the exciting plans he had.

And, no, that’s not a good excuse for Blaine to cheat. A good reason for cheating doesn’t exist. But it’s an explanation, a reason. Blaine had felt so alone, so lonely. And he felt abandoned. He had changed his life for Kurt, only to be left at a public school known for the high bullying rates with Kurt’s friends.

Sure, the new kids weren’t Kurt’s friends. They never even met Kurt. But they had their own lives, and apparently, Blaine wasn’t a friend they wanted. His passion for music and performing turned out to be intimidating. Blaine wasn’t really used to that, when he was with the Warblers, they celebrated his talent and passion. But the New Directions aren’t interested in his talent. They weren’t the year before either.

Oh, wow, how much he missed the Warblers. He hadn’t talked to them in… well, let’s just say a very long time.

They used to be his best friends, his brothers. They all accepted each other, supported each other.

There is a knock on his door, but Blaine barely hears it. He’s not even sure if it’s his door or something in the music. But he doesn’t feel like finding out, so he doesn’t make any moves towards his door to open it.

But whoever is behind it opens it without waiting for an invite. And since Blaine didn’t actually lock his room - when he got a boyfriend his parents took away his key to his room so he couldn’t do any ‘funny business’.

Blaine buries his face in his pillows, not wanting to look at whoever walked in. Not because he looks like shit. He does look like shit - but he doesn’t care. For once, he doesn’t care about his curls looking like Medusa’s snakes. He just hopes that if he pretends to be asleep, the person goes away.

He doesn’t need to know who it is either. It’s probably Sam, he’s the only one with a key to Blaine’s house. His parents are gone on one of their many trips around the world, and his brother is currently shooting a movie in Los Angeles. And they have no neighbors, at least not close enough to hear or see their house.

The music suddenly stops, and only when the room is silent, Blaine notices how loud it was. It leaves a funny feeling in his ears.

He stays perfectly still, not moving an inch.

“I know you’re not sleeping, Blaine.” Says a voice. Which doesn’t belong to Sam.

From surprise, and being caught, he can’t stop himself to look up. He blinks a few times, maybe he’s dreaming again. He keeps having these weird dreams that felt so real. He’d be in front of Kurt again, reliving the moment of him confessing the truth over and over, but every dream would end differently. Every dream would end worse.

But he had never dreamed of Sebastian in his room before. Okay, maybe he has, once or twice when they first met, but he had definitely pushed those dreams far away.

Sebastian kicks some laundry out of his way to the window before opening the curtains, making Blaine wince and put his face back against his pillow. It takes a few seconds before he’s able to look again, but he now has a big headache.

Sebastian doesn’t seem to care and crosses his arms, looking at him, “You getting up or what?”

“What are you doing here?” Blaine asks him. Well, tries to ask him. He hasn’t spoken in… he doesn’t even know how long it has been. His voice is raw, so soft you’d think he whispered. Maybe he did.

“Getting you out of the house, obviously. Though I would recommend you take a shower first, you smell terrible. And I’d never thought I would ever say this to _you_ , but you look terrible.”

Blaine sighs, closing his eyes because the light is still hurting. “No.”

“I don’t take no as an answer, you know that by now, Killer.” Sebastian answers, “I will be standing here until you get up. And if it takes too long, I’ll carry you to the bathroom. Which I won’t mind, but I’m sure that once you’re able to think again, you won’t like that.”

“Leave.” Blaine groans, he doesn’t get what Sebastian is doing here. He hasn’t seen him since the whole thing with Karofsky.

“Hmm, once again, no. So spare your energy trying to convince me to leave, and just listen to me. I could always call Thad or David, but you know that that won’t end well. Because they _will_ fly back to Ohio to get your ass out of the house, and they would bring you straight to Dalton.”

Blaine glances at Sebastian, wondering if that threat is real, or just bluffing. Sebastian reaches for his phone in his pocket, and as soon as he unlocked it, he shows his screen, the contact for David already opened. That, plus the look in Sebastian’s eyes, he knows that he would make the call. And he knows that Sebastian is right.

Another sigh and Blaine gets up. His body hurts. He has been lying on his bed for hours now, and he has no idea what time it is. If it’s even the same day as he thinks it is. He knows that’s not good, but he can’t bring himself to care.

He walks out of his room, the door still open after Sebastian’s arrival. He’s not sure what to expect, but he’s somehow not surprised that Sebastian actually follows him until he’s sure that Blaine walks into the bathroom. Probably in case Blaine decides to hide in his parents’ room instead, where there is a lock.

“Wait a few minutes,” Sebastian tells him, and he walks back to Blaine’s room. Only to return with something in his hands. Clothes. “These are the only ones that don’t smell like they were thrown into a toilet. Put them on once you’re done, it looks like you have been wearing that shirt since the beginning of the century. You should probably throw it away.”

Blaine rolls his eyes at him but has no energy to say something in return. He also doesn’t feel the need to defend himself or his clothes, that he has worn for weeks. Now that he’s a little more awake, he’s starting to smell himself. And maybe Sebastian is right, he needs a shower.

He waits until Sebastian closes the door, thankfully not watching him shower. Even Sebastian wouldn’t go that far. Though Thad and David would.

When he’s done, he’s starting to feel more alert. Just a little. He still feels like wanting to go back to bed and wake up in another ten years or so.

Sebastian isn’t standing in the hallway when he gets out, and Blaine looks around, confused until he smells food. He follows the scent, walking downstairs to the kitchen, where Sebastian is standing behind the stove.

He had never expected to see Sebastian Smythe cooking vegetables in his kitchen.

“You need to eat something healthy,” Sebastian explains, nodding towards the empty bags of Cheetos and chocolate bars on the table. Before Blaine can say anything, Sebastian moves to throw them away.

“I’m not hungry,” Blaine tells him, hoping that now that he got out of his bedroom, it’s enough to convince Sebastian that he can leave now. But his stomach betrays him, making a loud sound that almost echoes through the kitchen. Sebastian doesn’t say anything, but his ‘ _oh, really_ ’ look is all Blaine needs to sit down at the kitchen table.

“Why are you here?” Blaine asks him, again.

“Like I said, to get you out of the house.” Sebastian gives him the same answers.

Blaine sighs, “But why are _you_ here?”

“You think any of the other Warblers would be able to even get you to open your eyes?” Sebastian asks him and snorts, “They look up to you, if you told them to, they would join you and lay in your bed next to you for the next five days.”

“Well, I’m not in my bedroom anymore,” Blaine tells him, and he looks around the house. It’s obvious that he’s been upstairs all the time, the living room looks exactly the way it was when he got home after that terrible flight back home.

“Not good enough. We’re going to the park once you’ve eaten. Some fresh air will do you some good. And you’re going to talk to someone, doesn’t matter who. Well, anyone except Hummel.”

Blaine winces at the mention of Kurt.

“How did you even know?” He wants to know.

“Some guy from McKinley, Pam? Graham?”

“Sam,” Blaine guesses. Of course it’s Sam. Sam is the only one actually interested in being friends with Blaine.

“Yeah, that one.” Sebastian nods and turns off the stove, and before he knows it, a plate with vegetables and potatoes is in front of him. “You are going to eat that,” Sebastian tells him, and Blaine gets some deja vu to when he was little and he didn’t want to eat his veggies. Sebastian has the same look on his face and Blaine’s father.

It’s a weird motivation for him to actually eat. And while he’s not able to eat all of it, he’s full pretty quickly, his stomach not used to eating more than a few bites, it does feel satisfying.

“Alright,” Sebastian gets up, placing the plate in the sink, “We’ll do the dishes later, let’s go.”

Blaine usually loves the park. He sometimes spends all day sitting on a bench, reading a novel, or watching kids play with dogs. Now? He hates it. He feels like everyone is looking at him. He knows it’s not the case, but it still feels like it. And he keeps wincing every time a child is screaming. Or when a dog barks. Honestly, his own footsteps are too loud.

It has gotten colder outside since the last time Blaine actually left his house. The wind is blowing his, still not styled, hair in front of his face, and he zips up his jacket, his hands in the pockets.

He glances at Sebastian, whose hair is also going in every direction. He doesn’t look bothered by it though. Only now Blaine realizes that Sebastian has changed a little since they last saw each other. His hair has gotten longer, and he uses less gel to style it, so now there are a few strands on his forehead. He also looks more mature, and maybe he has gotten even taller.

His personality has obviously not changed much, he’s still the same sarcastic and flirty Warbler that he met a little longer than a year ago. But he seems calmer, and maybe a little… softer? Is that what he could call it. Something is different. He seems more playful when he makes comments.

Blaine’s muscles still ache, and he has to take a break and sit down after a few minutes. Sebastian doesn’t seem to mind and sits next to him, his legs crossed as he watches people walk by. He’s obviously checking out a guy who’s walking past them, the guy gives him a smirk back, but Sebastian makes no move to abandon Blaine and make a move.

Part of Blaine is relieved - not someone else leaving him, even though he knows that with Kurt he was the one that hurt Kurt. The other part of him is disappointed because if Sebastian was going after the stranger, Blaine could escape and go back home - this time lock the door so Sebastian wouldn’t break into his room again.

“How are you feeling?” Sebastian asks him.

“Fantastic.” Blaine answers, giving him a look that he hopes says ‘can I go back home now?’

Sebastian isn’t affected at all. Of course, he knows Blaine isn’t doing okay.

“David told me that when you came to Dalton, the school and the Warblers were able to help you,” Sebastian tells him. Though Blaine knows it wasn’t just David who told him. When they were still good friends, Blaine had told Sebastian his story, and how Dalton had made him feel safe.

Blaine knows where this is coming. The Warblers have been begging him to come back.

“I know you’re not interested to go back to Dalton, you’ve said so many times, but you should consider hanging out with us sometimes. You don’t have to be a Dalton student to be a member of the Warbler family. Maybe their presence will help you again. And, no, we won’t be able to protect you from heartbreak, sadly nothing can, but I do think they’ll- we’ll make you feel safe again. Distract you. Make you feel better. I know what you did, Blaine. And I know you. I know that you’re going to blame yourself for this for the rest of your life, and you’re going to get more depressed each day.” Sebastian barely breathes before continuing his speech.

“You made a mistake. And, okay, yes, cheating is bad. And you shouldn’t do it again. You should learn from your mistake, but you also have to move on, live again. Locking yourself up in your room won’t help you. You know that I know you know that deep down. And I know you need help, you need professional help. Depression is something serious, and it won’t be fixed by me, or the Warblers.”

There is a pause, and Blaine lets his thoughts wander. After what happened in freshman year, he went to a therapist. He got EMDR therapy to forget the feelings of that night, but he still had many meetings about other stuff going on in his life. And it had helped. It took a long time, but it had helped.

“You’re right,” Blaine says before Sebastian can continue his speech. Sebastian looks relieved.

“There is no shame in going to therapy,” Sebastian tells him, “My therapist helped me a lot. As you can notice I am no longer plotting revengeful pranks on people anymore. Turns out my dad fucked up my life even more than I thought, and when Dalton told me to go to a therapist, I thought it was bullshit, but it did help. And half the school goes to therapy.”

“I just… I don’t know how to reach out.” Blaine admits, and he stares at his hands.

“That Dan guy told me that your school’s counselor has some contacts and can you help find a good therapist. He also made sure you have a meeting with her tomorrow at noon. Even if you’re not ready to go back to class, you should take the first step by going back to school and speak with her.”

“Didn’t expect to ever get such serious advice from you,” Blaine says, for the first time in weeks he feels like making a joke.

“Yeah, after this I will keep it at hook up advice, I promise.” Sebastian nods, and he relaxes. Well, not fully relaxes, the bench is uncomfortable.

There is a silence for a few minutes before Blaine breaks it, “Thanks.”

Sebastian shrugs, “Ben is the one who reached out.”

“Sam. It’s Sam.”

A few minutes later they walk back to Blaine’s house. Sebastian helps him clean up his room and the dishes. He gives Blaine some easy recipes to make before he leaves and promises to come back the next day to ask him how his meeting with Ms. Pillsbury went.

Blaine actually listens to him, and he fights himself by not going back to his bed to sleep. He sets his alarm, sends Sam a ‘thank you’ text, and the next day he goes back to McKinley to meet with Emma, who gives him a card to, what she calls, the best therapist in Lima.

Maybe he’ll be okay after all.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know if there actually will be a part 2. I haven't felt like writing since Seblaine week. And when I did, I got stuck at 800 words. This is the first time I finished something.
> 
> Hope you're all doing okay, these are tough times. And definitely scary times, I have two teachers who got COVID, and there are more and more cases in my town. I'm mostly reading novels and watching tv shows to keep me distracted. (I recently became obsessed with Julie and the Phantoms, but if you follow me on Tumblr you might have already seen me spam about that show.)


End file.
